I Really Miss You.....

The truth is.......

I really miss you.

Pretty sure I'll never really be over you. Wherever you go, a piece of my heart goes with you. I hope you know that.

I've been working on me. Like really working and making positive progress. I feel good and it's simply because I'm doing things for myself and not for the benefit of anyone else. The gym is not a place I ever imagined myself spending much time, but somehow I'm really liking it. Going is just for me. It's good for my mind and body. I really really like it!

I've been applying for jobs, but not like in the past. I'm putting forth an effort and really putting my heart into it. Today I met with a recruiter. Why not let someone else help me find a job that's a good fit? It went really well! I was stoked. I'm still stoked! The lady I interviewed with liked me. I have a good feeling she is going to find me a job I'll be happy with. Honestly, right now, just about any job offering a paycheck will make me happy.

When you told me you're proud of me (with 2 !!) a couple nights ago, it really got me to thinking. There is no one I'd rather make proud. Even if just through a text message, it meant more to me than you may ever know. The fact is, I'm proud of me too. However, having it come from you made me feel really good. You've done lots of things to make me proud. I guess I never thought much about wanting to make you proud as well. I do want you to be proud of me. I really do!

I want you to be even more perfectly you and I will keep working on myself.

For now, I will just keep being......

Perfectly Danielle

My Best Me

This fresh break-up has made me think and rethink everything in our relationship up to this point. Trust me, you can't make sense out of something that quite simply doesn't make sense.

Yogi Tea Says: The heart sees deeper than the eye. Thanks Yogi!

So I've moved on (for now) from wondering what happened and what should have been done differently. Something got me thinking about if I had somehow changed at some point in the relationship. I have not changed, but rather stayed the same and therein lies the super big major problem! Don't worry. I'm not placing the blame on myself. I am, however, realizing that I am not entirely blameless. My focus has been on being a great mother and girlfriend, and I somehow forgot to be a great me.

What I'm about to do is expose my faults to you. It's kind of embarrassing and unabashedly true.

I am 31. My son and I live at home with my parents. I have a (very expensive) college degree in Fashion Design, that I don't use. I rarely exercise. I'm totally broke most of the time. I seriously lack organizational skills. And for the last year or so I have seemed content to just stagnate.

Where has my drive to succeed gone? Who would want to be with someone like that?

I talk about getting in shape. I look half-heartedly for a 'real' job. I think about getting organized. Yet what do I really do? NOT MUCH.

This is not who I want to be!

I'm on a mission to reclaim drive, passion, and a renewed zest for life!

From being sad and crying, I have lost 8 pounds (yes, in a week) (and yes, I know that's not healthy). So what better time to join the gym and actually get in shape? I joined on Monday, the 31st, went on Tuesday and Thursday. I always thought I'd hate the gym, until I went with the  boyfriend  ex-boyfriend and found out I kind of like it. It's early in the game, but I think I'm hooked!

I found a little part-time job that I can do from home. The pay is ok. Actually it's better than anything I see posted on Craigslist. The beauty of this job is that I can make some money while I keep looking for something else. Right now I think it would be cool to find a second part-time job. One I can do from home and one where I actually get out and interact with people.

Next up.... organization! You never know.... it might happen!

In one week I already feel like I'm taking steps in the right direction. I'm feeling a lot better about myself. I'm definitely feeling more....

PERFECTLY DANIELLE