As soon as I hit publish on that last post, he texted me back..... after 3 hours. And it was the favorable pleasant response I had hoped for. He was in fact napping, as I had suspected.
That's Murphy's Law. I let myself get all girly and emotional and worked up. All that for nothing.
My gosh sometimes being a girl gets the best of me. I try not to let emotions rule me, like girls tend to do. I had trained myself to not be like that. Somehow I think I've reverted. Grrr! Yuck!
Anyway..... feeling much better and like a dumb girl!
-Perfectly Danielle
Saturday, February 16, 2013
Always Your Cutebutt
It's been almost a month since my last post, but not because I don't need to this forum to vent anymore. I've just been doing a pretty good job of brushing my feelings under the rug, or really just hiding them. I've always been good at hiding my emotions. When all this breakup stuff was fresh I wasn't able to hide my emotions. Now that's it's not quite as fresh I've started bottling things up again. It's not healthy, I know. I just don't know how to be any other way.
Since my last post the unboyfriend (that's seems easier to swallow than ex) and I have worked out together twice and went to a concert with little guy. Doing things together is painful, but nowhere near as painful as not seeing each other at all. I actually cry often, but no one knows (well except for you now). One week ago he made it very clear that he is still very attracted to me. For the last couple days now, he wont return my texts. We worked out and had dinner together a couple night ago. I'm so super confused!
That guy never does what's expected and until now I've always kind of liked that. I write him little letters here and there. I like the idea of writing actual words on paper. Seems more meaningful to me than any kind of electronic correspondence. Text and email seem so temporary. Written words can last forever. They're personal, from one person to another. You can touch and feel the words, put them in your pocket, take them with you. Kind of beautiful really. On Wednesday I gave him 2 letters I had written to him. Thursday morning I talked to him in text messages, but nothing since. I can't think of a single reason why he won't respond to my texts. It's breaking my heart all over again. Just when I was starting to think things were getting better. What the heck happened??
My only option left at this point is to be patient. I can't see anything else to do. I'm really hurting! I don't want to keep crying, but what I probably really need right now is a good cry. I don't want to lose my best friend, but my best friend isn't talking to me.
Until today I've been really good at shifting my sadness into self improvement. I'm not giving up on my self improvement mission in the least, I'm just feeling momentarily defeated by emotions. Wish I knew what to do!
I'll go to the gym tonight (like I often do). I'll continue to be his cutebutt. I'll keep hoping he reaches out to me (like any dumb girl does). Everything will be ok. That I'm still sure of.
Totally missing him,
PERFECTLY DANIELLE
Since my last post the unboyfriend (that's seems easier to swallow than ex) and I have worked out together twice and went to a concert with little guy. Doing things together is painful, but nowhere near as painful as not seeing each other at all. I actually cry often, but no one knows (well except for you now). One week ago he made it very clear that he is still very attracted to me. For the last couple days now, he wont return my texts. We worked out and had dinner together a couple night ago. I'm so super confused!
That guy never does what's expected and until now I've always kind of liked that. I write him little letters here and there. I like the idea of writing actual words on paper. Seems more meaningful to me than any kind of electronic correspondence. Text and email seem so temporary. Written words can last forever. They're personal, from one person to another. You can touch and feel the words, put them in your pocket, take them with you. Kind of beautiful really. On Wednesday I gave him 2 letters I had written to him. Thursday morning I talked to him in text messages, but nothing since. I can't think of a single reason why he won't respond to my texts. It's breaking my heart all over again. Just when I was starting to think things were getting better. What the heck happened??
My only option left at this point is to be patient. I can't see anything else to do. I'm really hurting! I don't want to keep crying, but what I probably really need right now is a good cry. I don't want to lose my best friend, but my best friend isn't talking to me.
Until today I've been really good at shifting my sadness into self improvement. I'm not giving up on my self improvement mission in the least, I'm just feeling momentarily defeated by emotions. Wish I knew what to do!
I'll go to the gym tonight (like I often do). I'll continue to be his cutebutt. I'll keep hoping he reaches out to me (like any dumb girl does). Everything will be ok. That I'm still sure of.
Totally missing him,
PERFECTLY DANIELLE
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